This is all a bit… meta, seeing as this post is actually part of me overcoming blogger’s block. For anyone unfamiliar with the term, blogger’s block is the horrible feeling that you have nothing to write about. No ideas. Nothing is going on in the brain. For me it manifests as a huge serving of self doubt. I start to question everything I’m doing. I tear it apart and see it as nothing but flaws. This is stupid, this is worthless, no one wants to read my blog. No one likes me. I have no friends. Yep, it spirals.
Something stupid that’s been really getting to me today is the unfollows. Boy, the unfollows. I think I’m getting somewhere, people are following me. People like me! Then, the number starts falling again and I’m like…. what did I do?! I’m in danger of falling below the 200 mark again. I know it’s just how some people use social media, but I don’t like it. To me, it’s personal. And I know it isn’t to them, but you try telling my brain that. Brain doesn’t often listen to reason.
Anyway, I came home from work today feeling super motivated. I decided I was going to write loads, interact loads, and do real good. Until I fell into a huge funk. I started feeling like it was all for nothing. No one’s reading it, so what’s the point?
I forgot why I was writing in the first place.
I’d lost sight of what this blog is really about at heart. My focus had moved from sharing little pieces of myself with whoever would listen, to the trap of “when do I start making money??!?!??!?!!!!!!?!?”. I will never be a professional blogger if it’s all about the money. People can see through that. I was starting to lose pride in my writing, because it didn’t feel like me anymore. One month in and my mind was already being taken over by the money monster.
Once I had that epiphany, clambering out of my funk pit was easy.
Here’s how I overcame blogger’s block:
- Firstly, I questioned my motives. I write because I love to write. Commerciality is not, and never will be my thing. Even when I worked in retail I sold by trying to be the opposite of commercial. I wasn’t a hard seller, I just genuinely really loved my products and the company I worked for, which made it a whole lot easier to make other people love it too. Of course I had to twist it into being commercial because it was, after all, a shop. But that wasn’t why I did it all. And it’s the same here. This blog will never be about the money. The only reason I want it to make me money is so I can quit my day job and do it ALL THE TIME. I want to do the thing I love. In my mind, I had switched it round. The cart was coming before the horse, as they say (I think?). When I figured that out, the rest was easy.
- In light of the Big Epiphany, I decided that a super way to really snap myself out of would be to do one of my big, waffly personal posts like I used to do. This used to be ALL I did in my old blog. It was all about my thoughts and stuff. That’s what I love doing most, to be honest. Waffling about Stuff. I think it’s because in real life I’m quite quiet around people I don’t know very well, so I need an outlet. The ears of my friends is often such an outlet, but I can’t talk their ears all the way off, else how will they continue being a wafflesponge? So here we are, a Big Long Thoughts Post. There will be more. Soz.
- Now I’m doing this, I feel like I’m getting back into it. I haven’t posted in a week, which for this blog is a long time. I’ve farted about on social media for a bit, for all the good that’s done me. Getting back into it needed to happen now, or it never might have, and that was worrying me. The panic was starting to set in that this had become another dead endeavour. There have been so many. I need to remember from time to time to let myself off a bit. Just because I lapsed a bit doesn’t mean it’s over. Nothing is over until I decide it is, and right now I very definitely decide that this blog lives on, and it will do for a long time.
So there we are. I’m back, and I feel good.
Thanks for being a good wafflesponge 😛